


Facing A New Reality

by GoddessofDawn



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bella Bashing, Bisexual Character, Bit of Fluff, F/F, F/M, Lemons, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of alcohol, Multi, Smut, mention of drugs, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-06-05 18:01:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 24
Words: 17,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15176258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessofDawn/pseuds/GoddessofDawn
Summary: It seems that the reality of the whole situation had finally sunk in. I plopped down on the nearest seat, bringing a hand to my pounding head.“Well fuck.” Was the only response I had.Out all the things I could do without in my life, being sent to a fictional universe where vampires sparkle, that no doubt topped every other shitty thing that ever happened to me.Edward/OCContains Bella Bashing. Mentions of rape and drugs and alcohol abuse as well as verbal abuse and child neglect.





	1. Chapter 1

My head felt like it weighed a tonne. I lifted a hand to my forehead, groaning at how much effort that took. I felt like I had club music playing in my head because it was pounding. Jesus Christ, how wasted did I get last night? 

I tried opening my eyes but everything was so bright, I immediately shut them after, bringing my hands to my face to rub my eyes.

”Cass, close the blinds will ya?” I heard shuffling about me and the room darkened significantly. I opened my eyes again, blinking several times and trying to sit up.

”You shouldn’t be moving.” The voice was smooth and low, accented and most definetly unfamiliar. A cold hand on my shoulder startled me and I looked around. 

Where the hell was I?

It was a bedroom, but not one I recognised. It was beige coloured and rather lavish and I looked down at the bed I lay. The queen sized lush bed was most definitely not the small single bed which I was used to.

”Do you know where you are?” The voice spoke up and although it was soft and angelic sounding, it scared the shit out of me. I yelped, before looking at the owner of the voice. The room was slightly dark, but I could see his skin was pale, extremely pale and his hair was blonde, a light blonde, perfectly sweeped away from his face. His face was structured and handsome, like a movie star, and his eyes...

Wait, were they yellow?

What the...?

”Where am I? Is Cass here? Wait, what happened?” Thinking made my head hurt and the man shuffled closer, and sat at the edge of the bed by my feet.

His eyes are yellow!

”Whats the last thing you remember?” He asked, looking at me deeply.

”I was going out with Cassidy and we were partying but it was getting nearer to four in the morning and I remember walking home because I had work tomorrow.” Flashes of last night came to me. I remember drinking, but only a little because I had to go to the studio tomorrow.

”Shit! I’m late for work.” I groaned, lifting the bedcovers to get up. His cold hand returned to my shoulder.

”You were seriously injured, you shouldn’t be moving.” His tone was concerned. It was then that I noticed the bandage around my waist.

What on Earth...?

”Wait, why am I not in a hospital. Was I in an accident?” He looked unsure, worried even. It was silent while I waited for his response.

”That’s the thing. We found you in the forest and I was going to take you to the hospital, but my daughter Alice suggested you might want some privacy.” The club music in my head turned up a couple of notches and was making it even more difficult to think.

”Forest? There aren’t any forests in the East End. Privacy? Why would I want...Jesus Christ, is this a dream? Am I high?” I was rambling to myself. The man just looked at me funny.

”Can I ask you a question Miss...?”

”Just call me Sylvia.” I mumbled.

”Okay Sylvia, what day is it?” He asked.

”Thursday, well, now it’s Friday I guess.” He nodded.

”And where are you from?” He asked, looking at me thoughtfully.

”London, I just moved back from Amsterdam last year.” He looked confused, his brow furrowed. His eyes searched mine. I was confused.

”And when was that?” He asked thoughtfully.

”About August 2017.” His eyes looked surprised, but he masked his expression quickly with a calm measured one.

”And what year is it now?” 

“It’s 2018.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Silence fell over us as the doctor continued gazing at me, this time, looking surprised and concerned. It was 2018 right? Unless I had somehow fallen into a coma and it was actually 2019. It was getting awkward and I was eager to go home and call it a day.

The first step would be to find my clothes because I was wearing a silk pyjamas that probably would cost half my income. And I needed my phone to hit up Cass. She would freak out about the guy that I guess saved my life. He no doubt holds a great resemblance to a character from her favourite franchise.

”Did I happen to have a purse on me when you found me?” He snapped out of whatever daze he was in and picked up my camo coloured satchel from a chair. I grabbed it eagerly from his hands, my fingers clumsily brushing his. I shivered. Damn his hands were ice cold.

I looked through my bag and furrowed my brows. All my work stuff was in here, including my iPad and laptop. I rubbed my temples as a flash of memories hit me. 

I remember getting ready for work, I remember spilling tea on my crisp white shirt and complaining about it on the way to work. I remember the sound of tires squealing and looking up too late to see a shiny red car zooming way too fast and headed straight for me.

And then I was in agony, waves of crushing pain and screaming so loud my lungs hurt. And then suddenly, it all stopped.

I gasped, shaking as the memories played in repeat on my mind.

”I died, oh my god, I died. The car and then the pain! No, no no!” I cried, my hands abandoning the bag on my lap and tugging at me newly unicorn dyed hair. 

“Sylvia, I’m going to need you to calm down. You didn’t die. My family found you and we brought you here.” He put a cold hand on my arm and I focused on breathing, trying not to hyperventilate. Sudden waves of calm washed over me, making me sleepy and slump back, leaning on the headboard.

The man muttered something under his breath and the sudden waves of calm seemed to lessen in intensity, letting me think clearly.

”Everythings okay, and you’re okay. You’ll be healed in no time.” He assured me with a dazzling smile.

”Look Mr...”

”Cullen, but just call me Carlisle.” He smiled, but it vanished almost immediately as I gaped at him. My headache intensified but so did the feelings of calm.

”Carlisle Cullen. You're Carlisle Cullen? Oh my god, I’m still high aren’t I?” I groaned. He furrowed his brow, looking confused. We continued our staring contest for a minute before it hit me.

Oh my god.

He was serious. 

A part of me was scoffing, coming up with crazy theories that it might be a huge prank on me, but another part, albeit small, believed him.

I cant believe this is actually happening.

“I’m so royally fucked.” I groaned, covering my face with my hands.

 


	3. Chapter 3

“Right, you’re probably not gonna believe me, but I am not from here. I’m from a different universe that’s currently set in 2018, where you and your family and this whole thing is fictional.” He just blinked in response.

More silence.

An idea struck me. I hoped it worked.

I scrambled in my bag, rummagging for my phone, and pulled out the iPhone X and his intense eyes shifted from my face to the device. I unlocked with my face and showed him my Instagram page, the one where I posted Cass and I partying last night. I pointed at the date.

His eyebrows disappeared into his hair,one, but I could still see the doubt swimming in his eyes.

“I’m not supposed to be here, your not supposed to exist. In my world, you’re all characters from some teen franchise.” I spoke slowly. Was telling someone that you’re a fictional character insulting.

More silence fell over us.

”Well, that is certainly hard to digest.” He broke the silence. He still didn’t believe me.

”You want me to prove it.” It wasn’t a question, but he nodded.

”Well for sstaeters I know you’re all vampires, there’s seven of you in total. There’s houand Esme, Rosalie and Emmett, Jasper and Alice and of course little old Edward. Your eyes are yellow because you’re veggie vamps. I know you work in the hospital and Esme does some interior designing while everyone else goes to high school.” I stopped because I think that was enough.

”You do have quite an extensive knowledge about my family and I,” He began.

”I read the books and watched the movies.” I shrugged.

”Well, I guess I have some more questions, but I assume you’re hungry. My wife Esme has some food prepared.” 


	4. Chapter 4

It was after a moments arguing and minutes of convincing that I was allowed up. I stumbled a little, the hangover from yesterday hitting me like a fright train. So I held on to the kind doctors arm as he navigated me around the huge mansion. It was after several glass walls and an endless spiralling grand staircase that I finally collapsed onto a barstool.

I was flushed and slightly out of breath and so decided to look around the state of the art kitchen that smelled absolutely divine.

”Hello. It’s nice to see you up and moving so quickly.” The warm feminine voice no doubt belonged to the caramel haired beauty that now stood opposite me.

”Thank you. Uh, thanks for saving me?” It came out like a question, but she smiled none the less.

”I made breakfast, but I wasn’t sure what you liked.” She pulled out a large plate from the oven. It was loaded with eggs, toast, a quiche and some pancakes. She also set down a bowl of porridge, before pulling out a cup of OJ and glass of smoothie.

”Mrs Cullen, I am physically incapable of consuming this feast which you call breakfast.” She chuckled and shook her head.

”Just eat what you can sweetie, it’s fine. And please just call me Esme.” I nodded and tucked in, enjoying my food. It was strange though. Shouldn’t I be worried I was in a parallel universe. I mean, I guess I was worried, like what do I do now? But, at the same time, I felt strangely calm.

As I carried on munching, I frowned as I realised something.

The house was eerily silent.

Were vampires this quiet? Must be boring, listening to me eat cannot be interesting.

Wait, were they having one of those too quiet conversations? I guess that made more sense.

I finished my food and Esme had long ago disappeared so I debated what to do. I couldn’t sit here forever. Plus, I needed to walk this buffet off. I shrugged as I slipped off the bar stool. Unsupervised tour of Casa de Cullen it is.

The first room I wandered into was what appeared to be a reception room. There was a table in the middle with a large vase if colourful flowers. A massive chandelier hung from the ceiling. The second room I stumbled across was the dining room. There was a large mahogany dining table with matching chairs and other pieces of oak furniture.

Ah yes, this was the same place the Cullens debated whether to kill Bella or not. I shrugged. They should have listened to Jasper. Would have saved me me from the shitty franchise dragging on even more.

I carried on walking, barefooted, still in the borrowed maroon silky pyjama shorts and matching thin strapped top. I walked into another room and it looked like a lounge, with some sofas around and an impressive bookcase. But what took up the room was the massive grand black piano standing on a raised platform, sunlight making it gleam.

I itched to touch the keys, to play something stupid, but I figured my new vampire friends wouldn’t appreciate my sense humour just quite yet. But I walked in and paused, realising that the room was connected to the living room aka, where all my new yellow eyed friends were giving me the famous stare.

Well this is awkward.

”Uh, nice piano?”

 


	5. Chapter 5

I was met with various different looks. Some were smiling brightly at me, like Alice, some were warm and smiling at me gently, like Carlisle and Esme while some were analysing me, siding me up, like Jasper and I understood those looks, like Emmett’s wary eyes. But Rosalie was openly glaring at me, unnecessarily hostile, that I couldn’t help but smile at her.

She reminded me so much of Cass.

“Sorry to interrupt your discussion, I’ll just go back.” I made a move to turn around and leave, but Alice skipped over to me, her small stature over a head shorter than my decent 5’7”. She giggled and linked her arm in mine, pulling me towards the centre of the room, where I felt naked under all the various stares.

“You didn’t interrupt anything Sylvia.” Her voice was light and high.

”If you insist.” I shrugged. Rosalie scoffed.

”She interrupts our lives, snoops around in our house and claims she’s from the future.” Rosalie sneered. I was slightly surprised that a face as beautiful as hers could turn into something so menacing. I mentally shrugged. I guess that comes with being a vampire.

”I am from the future. And I foreshadow certain doom if you do not change your ways.” I waved my hands around and spoke in my best imitation of a witch lady. Esme smiled, Alice bless her heart giggled lightly and Emmett looked amused, but aside from that I didn’t see anyone else appreciate my humour much.

”Look, I’m not from the future. I’m from the real world. One where all of this is some silly teen romance novels.” I plopped on the sofa, because lord knows I’m not some still statue that can stand like they were.

”Novel?” Alice asked, sitting besides me.

”Yeah. It’s all romancy and stuff, wasn’t into it, but Cass was. Hence why I actually remember your names.” I shrugged.

”I don’t believe it.” Edward muttered it. He stood far back, leaning on a wall, giving the famous smolder that many tweens fang irked over so much. With his tousled bronze hair and those intense eyes and that fit body and all those sharp features...

I shook my head.

I must still be a bit high.

”You better believe it Eddie boy, cuz you my little veggie vamp are the love interest.” His eyes widened and he looked surprised and startled. The poor lad looked so horrified. I couldn’t help but laugh at his expression. Emmett too decided to laugh at the expense of his brother.

“Of who?” He asked, worried about my answer.

”Mike Newton.” 


	6. Chapter 6

It was so hard to say that with a straight face but as soon as I saw his reaction, I was done. I cracked up so hard I fell off my seat, and I laughed for five minutes straight. Emmett's loud guffaws along with Alice’s high giggles and chuckles from other members were not helping me calm down.

”Sorry, I could pass up the opportunity to fuck with you.” I giggled, wiping away the tears from all that laughter.

”Bella Swan.“ He furrowed his brow.

”Cheif Swan’s daughter?” Carlisle asked. I nodded.

”Hasn’t she moved here yet? She shows up mid school semester and four books later and five movies later, happily ever after.” I shrugged. Running a hand through my hair.

”Wait, what’s the date?” I asked. 

“It’s September the first, 2005.” Alice piped up. So I’m assuming this is before Bella moves here. Well damn, what happens now. Thankfully, my body made that decision for me because I yawned. I glanced to the glass walls to see it was dark.

”I assume you must be tired. You still need to rest to heal your injuries.” Carlisle spoke up. “I’ll have to change your bandages and check if the stitches are okay.” I nodded and followed him to wherever he was taking me. We made it to a sort of medical room where I sat on a on a bed.

I felt someone hover by the door and looked up to see Edward. He looked like he wanted to say something, but was refraining from it.

”What’s got your panties in a twist?” I asked, holding up my shirt up to expose my bandages for the doctor to unwrap.

”Well,” He began, standing upright and coming a little farther into the room. “I think it’s  unfair that you know a lot about us and we don’t even know your second name.” He stayed in a matter-of-fact tone.

”Okay.” I nodded, pausing for a second to glance at the scar on my waist. It was a rather long gash going from my ribs, down to my side, stopping before my hip bone. There were also a couple bruises along my ribs.

”Van Helsing.” 

 


	7. Chapter 7

“My full name is Sylvia Sterre Van Helsing. I’m Dutch.” I began as I wandered around. The doctor had finished his bandaging me up and I had been kindly escorted to my room. I decided to give Edward a short autobiography on my life while I looked around the room that was now supposedly mine.

It was a beautiful room, the colours neutral. And it had an en suite bathroom and although it didn’t have everything I would need, it did have a couple of soaps and some toothpaste and a toothbrush.

”I was born on November the fifth, 2001 in Amsterdam. I’ve spent most of my life split between there and London, moving back and forth.” I continued as I emerged from the bathroom fresh faced and minty breath.

I settled on the bed, getting comfortable, leaning against the headboards to look at Edward. He wasn’t what at all what I was expecting. Not the overbearing, manipulative bordering abusiseiv guy that the books made him out to be. His and Bella’s relationship was not at all healthy.

Instead he looked like an ordinary guy. Well, not just ordinary. He was extremely good looking and occasionally when I glanced at him, I would be slightly surprised by his good looks. He was a little quiet and had a cute shy charm about him as well while maintaining his bad boy looks.

“That’s it?” He asked. He stood leaning against the wall watching me, the bedside lamp creating a soft glow on his face.

”Well I am only sixteen and in only human. Haven’t really done much.” I pointed out.

”What about siblings? Your family?” He probed.

”No siblings, only child. I wasn’t supposed to happen so my mum dumped me and my dad’s in prison. I’ve just been living with my grandma and recently, with my best mate Cass.” I answered.

I was truly feeling the exhaustion’s of my wounds and all the weird discussions I’ve had today so, rummaging through my bag, I found my phone and pulled it out, eager to listen to some music to fall asleep to.

”What’s that?” I almost forgot he was in the room.

”My phone. Say hello to the iPhone X.” I held the device out to him. He looked intrigued and inched closer, standing awkwardly by the side of my bed. “Come on, don’t stand there like a loner. Look, it has face recognition, so I can unlock it just by looking at the camera. See?” He awkwardly sat on the bed besides me as I demonstrated.

”Interesting.”


	8. Chapter 8

“...And this is my music app. It has every song on it. You name it, it’s on here.” I had spent three hours showing Edward the contents of my phone. From all my Instagram pictures, to taking stupid snapchat selfies, at the end of it, I felt we were more comfortable around each other.

He was a good listener for sure.

”Well, Cedric, do you believe me now?” I asked. He did that cute brow furrowing thing.

”Yes, but my name’s Edward.” He pointed out. We were sitting besides each other on my bed, leaning on the headboard, not exactly touching, but I could feel the coldness radiating from him.

“I know.” I smirked as his frown deepened. I pulled out my earphones, ready to play by night playlist that helped me sleep. I always kept it on loop. I hate sleeping in silence.

”What are you doing?” He asked.

”Music. It helps me sleep. I’ll show you it all tomorrow. I’m calling it a night.” I put my earphones in and put on my nightly playlist. It usually consisted on new songs I was trying to learn. By focusing on the lyrics and having then stuck in my head while I fell asleep, it kept unpleasant things away.

Edward left the bed and I turned over and got comfortable and closed my eyes. Soon, Morpheus claimed me and I was drifting in a place between life and death.

_”She’s gone! Like that! I didn’t expect it...I can’t belive it.” We we’re in our living room, I recognised it. Cass was crying, her eyes red and swollen, sobbing loudly. I was surprised to see Adrian in the room, consoling her. They broke up didn’t they?_

_I tried to move, to speak, to ask them what’s wrong, but I couldn’t. I was fixed on my spot and I could only merely watch._

_”She was all I had left. She was a.l I had left!” Cass was hysterical, screaming, nothing like the collected and beautiful girl I remembered. It made my heart ache._

_”We all miss her Cass.” Adrian murmured._

_”No! Don’t say that! No one does, not as much as I do! You have your family Adrian! Who do I have? Now that Sylvia is gone, I’m all alone.” The words hit me so hard a strangled sob came out of my throat. They were talking about me!_

_I’m dead and Cass is crying for me!_

_At that moment I wanted to run to her, to tell her I was okay, and that I’d never leave her, but I couldn’t move._

_”I’m here Cass! I’d never leave you! I’m right here!” I was screaming until my throat was raw, but no one heard anything. I was crying, sobbing._

_”Come on Cass. She wouldn’t want to see you like this. The funerals tomorrow...”_

_”Funeral?! I’m right here! Can’t you see me?!” I was now the hysterical one now, begging for either of them to notice me. Adrian began leading Cass away and I tried to move, to follow them, but I still couldn’t move._

_I was getting desperate and very close to panicking. Would I be stuck here forever? Watching everyone move on and forget me? Was that my punishment for being bad?_

_”Cass please. I’m right here.” I whispered, watching her back. For a second, she turned around and I saw her red rimmed eyes and hope surged in me. But was shortly followed by a crushing despair as she looked right through me and turned around, following Adrian out._

_”I’m here. Don’t go. Don’t leave me Cassy.” I whimpered, crying, my shoulders shaking._

_The shaking became more persistent and I heard someone call my name, but it sounded so faraway._

_”Sylvia.”_

_And then, suddenly it wasn’t._

_“_ Sylvia! Wake up. You’re just dreaming sweetie.” My eyes fluttered open and I sat upright, my heart pounding, my chest heavy. Looking around the room, disappointment crushed me. I really was dead and stuck in the Twilight universe.

My earphones had fallen out of my ears and I paused the song that was currently playing.

Esme sat on the edge of the bed, giving me a concerned look. My face felt wet and I wiped away at my eyes, only realising that I had been crying in my sleep.

”You were shouting and crying in your sleep.” God, they must have all heard with their supersonic hearing. God, that was so embarrassing. A wave of calm washed over me and I realised it must have been Jasper doing his mojo thing.

”I’m okay. Just kinda still getting over the fact that I died and now I’m stuck here.” I choked out. Esme didn’t say anything, just pulled me into her arms and held me as I sniffled, hot tears streaming down my face.

”It will get better sweetie. I just know it.” I didn’t know how to respond, so I just nodded, hoping that she was right.

 


	9. Chapter 9

The morning after that whole little shindig was awkward. It wasn’t helping that I was feeling irritable too, since I hardly slept after that and resorted to scrolling through the internet. Esme kept giving me worried glances when she thought I wasn’t looking and Edward kept hovering, looking like he wanted to say something but as refraining from it.

Not to mention that the house was mostly silent and everyone was exchanging hushed conversations, no doubt talking about me given all the looks I was getting. I was in a pretty shit mood and was pushing my food around my plate.

All the while, my mind was replaying my dream.

_Was my funeral really tomorrow? Isn’t that a bit early?_

”Sylvia.” I looked up at my name being called and saw Esme and Carlisle enter the kitchen. They both stood opposite me on the other side of the kitchen island, Carlisle’s arm wrapped around Esme’s waist.

Edward too showed up, taking the barstool next to me, his knee almost brushing mine. I quirked a brow at him, but he didn’t respond to my silent question. Out of all the other barstools, he had to choose the one right next to me.

”Sylvia, we wanted to talk about your...predicament,” Carlisle began. “You are only sixteen and not yet an adult so you do require some place to stay. Of course, you are free to decide what to do with your life and are under no obligation to stay here.” 

“Sweetie, we were wondering if you could stay with us. I don’t think you have anywhere to go and we would love another addition to the family.” Esme finished off.

Family? Me? Those two never usually belonged together in a sentence, unless it was to say I don’t have a family.

And now, I had been telelported to an alternate universe and a whole coven of beautiful vampires wanted to adopt me.

I’m sure this was the ultimate dream of a Twilight fan, but come on, even they would freak out a little right? You’d think it was some sort of prank. One minute your going through the routine if your pathetic life and then suddenly, you’re living the dream? 

I would have thought it was a prank but it wasn’t. Here they were, standing before me, blinking their unnatural topaz eyes, waiting for my response.

I could say yes and live happily ever after with the vampires, but even then, how long would I stay. Until I was twenty? Thirty? Sixty? Would I stay with them until I aged and died while they forever remained young? Or would I change into a vampire and be with them forever?

So while certain pros were appealing to me, like having a new family, being ridiculously rich and having a fresh new start, it did have a huge massive con that was making my head spin. If I accepted, that would make it final that I was definetly not going back.

To some, this was a no brainier, an easy yes, but here I was, for once in my life, thinking it all through before saying the words that sealed my fate.

_Thinking it through? Who the fuck are you and what have you done to the real Sylvia? You’ve been saying YOLO your whole life, why stop now?_

I hummed for a second.

Eh, fuck it.

”Why not?” 


	10. Chapter 10

“Why not? Why not?! Is that all you have to say?” A beautiful voice screeched from behind me. I swivelled around in my barstool to face the entrance to the kitchen. I guess while I had been sifting through my thoughts, a crowd of Cullen’s had gathered to anticipate my response.

Alice looked positively excited, jumping up and down on the spot, while Jasper looked calm and cool, holding onto the little pixie. Emmett looked pleased too, but it was Rosalie who had a storm brewing in her eyes and if it weren’t for Emmett’s arms around her, I’m sure she’d be strangling me right now.

Like how Homer Simpson strangles Bart when he’s angry.

The imagery was enough to make me chuckle, and apparently that was the wrong move because the she devil screeched again.

”You think this whole thing is a joke huh. You come into our lives, threaten everything we8ve struggles so hard to build and you laugh in our faces while you freeload us?” My brows furrowed and my own anger spiked.

”Listen Daisy, I didn’t ask to be here okay. Take up whatever issue you have with whatever deity you worship because I certainly have no idea how the fuck I ended up here of all places. So please stop screeching like a damn velociraptor and leave me the fuck alone.” She looked like she was about to bust a fuse, but Emmett was pulling her away. Before she could open her mouth for another last comment, Esme beat her to it.

”Rosalie, enough. Stop acting so immature.” With a huff, she turned around and stormed out, purposefully slamming a door. Her duty bound husband followed.

I rubbed my temples and my fingers twitched.

Damn, I need a drink.

”Sorry about that sweetie.” Esme gave me a soft smile, and I waved it off.

”So do I have to go back to school?” Alice giggled and stepped up to my other side.

”Yes! It’ll be so exciting! You can be a junior like Edward and I. School starts next week so we have to prepare. I’ve already filled everything out, now we just need to go shopping. We need to get you clothes, shoes, accessories, school supplies, toiletries, everything! And we only have six hours before the mall closes so we have to leave pronto or we won’t get to see all the stores!”

“Damn, how many spoons of sugar did you eat?” She giggled and looped her arm through mine, pulling me up out of my seat.

”Don’t just sit there! Your clothes are on your bed. I want you changed and ready to go in five minutes.” She dragged me to my room and left me to get dressed.

There were two piles on the bed. My old clothes that I assume I came here with and other clothes that weren’t mine. I held them up and frowned. 

There was a black and white striped tank top with long sleeves. It was cute, but it was cut way too high, coming just under my breasts and there was no bra to wear it with. Next to them were white baggy trousers. I put them on and stood in front of the floor length mirror.

I looked like something straight out of those 2000s movies. The trousers were not high waisted and hung dangerously low on my hips. Too low in fact I worried that if I sat down, my butt crack would be visible for the whole world to see.

I took them off and looked through the pile of clothes that belonged to me. A thin white blouse that would get soaked instantly in this weather and my trusty old pair of black ripped skinny jeans. I traded my trousers for my jeans, instantly feeling better.

Much better.

I grabbed the jacket that lay on the bed, a nice brown leather jacket that was a little too big but extremely comfortable and headed down the stairs, all the while slipping it on. Alice stood by the door, excitedly and clapped her hands.

”You look perfect Sylvia. I love those jeans.” She complimented.

”You're wearing my jacket.” A smooth voice startled me from behind. I turned around to see Edward, standing right behind me, a little too close to be polite.

”Sorry. It was on the bed. Do you want it back?” I began taking it off, but a cold hand on my arm stopped me.

”It’s fine. You look great in it.” His eyes were darkening slowly. Gone was the bright topaz and in its place was a darker caramel. His eyes looked much more intense and smouldering when they were darker.

_Does he want to eat me?_

I shook it off and turned back round to the waiting pixie.

What a strange boy.


	11. Chapter 11

Walking into the outside world was surreal. I mean, being with the Cullens and realising I was in the Twilight universe was one thing, but looking around, it was like I was realising it was 2005 all over again.

I mean, I did live through 2005, but I was a kid, barely four years old and I didn’t have much memory of anything before 2010 so adjusting to life as a teenager in the early 2000s was going to be difficult. Living in America was already a huge change but living 13 years in the past was even more so of a challenge.

But the weirdest thing I was struggling with was the fashion. There were no fashionable rompers or ripped skinny jeans which were the basis of all my outfits. Instead, they were replaced with those awful velvet tracksuits and ridiculous baker boy hats. Oh god, and those awful layers and extremely baggy jeans. And the ridiculous spiky hair.

I seriously wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.

But, I took comfort in the fact that I was ahead of my time and could become a future trend setter. I could even introduce some cook dance moves. I internally cackled at the thought. 2005 will no doubt appreciate my dabs and Fortnight dances.

“Hey Alice.” I suddenly remembered something, turning to the pixie who was studying a rack of clothes intensely. She met my eyes and smiled. “Why did you give me Edward’s jacket?” Her smile widened so much so that she now resembled the Cheshire Cat.

”You look good in it.” I narrowed my eyes at her seemingly innocent answer, unsure if there was some other hidden agenda behind it. 

“Damn your secret keeping abilities Pixie.” She laughed at me and gave me a pile of clothes to try on. I just shook my head and complied.

Shopping with Alice wasn’t a huge nightmare like Bella made it out to be. I mean, the pixie was so energetic and over excited and I had to remind her several times that I was a human and I needed food and drink and rest, but she never made me step too far out of my comfort zone. She was easily becoming one of the closest friend I’ve had so far. Not that I had many to begin with.

It was during our pit stop break at the food court that things got interesting.

_I chime in haven’t you ever heard of_

_Closing the goddamn door no?_

_It’s much better to face these kind of things_

_With a sense of poise and rationality_

“Aaah! This is my jam!” I screamed, abandoning my burger to stand up and dance and belt out to the lyrics playing on the mall speakers. I could feel eyes on me and I could hear Alice laughing.

”Wooh! You go girl! I love Panic! At the disco.” Someone yelled out, cheering me. I laughed and thanked him before taking my seat when the song was over and finishing my food.

”You’re good at dancing. Did you practise?” She asked me, curious yellow eyes blinking

 “Yeah. I used to practice all the time. I performed a couple times in music videos, but it’s not something I wanna make a career out of. It’s more of a fun pastime. Plus, I want abs.” Damn right I want abs. Maybe not an eight pack, but I still want abs. After years of excercise and months of workout, I had a firm stomach and the faint lines of abs.

I’ll be damned if I lose all that hard work.

”What do work as?” She asked, picking up a fry and shredding it to make it look like she was eating.

”I’d like to think I’m an artist. I’m an apprentice at an art studio. I do a lot of digital designing and artwork, from simple business cards and logos to creating art pieces for an art galleryl It’s a lot of freelance work and it’s mostly, if not all, done online, hence why I carry my iPad and laptop everywhere. I enjoyed it.”

”You must miss it.” She commented.

”Yeah, but I died going to work, so there’s that.” Silence settled between us. I looked at Alice, who’s expression had turned more serious and it was a tiny that moment that I decided that I was done mourning the lass of my old life. “But, if it wasn’t for my job, I wouldn’t have come here either and met you.” She smiles brightly at my response, grabbing my hand and standing up.

”Come on. We are nowhere near finished with shopping.” I smiled and shook my head, letting her tug me by my hand.

Sylvia Cullen.

That definitely has a nice ring to it.


	12. Chapter 12

After that little episode of dancing, I could feel my inner emo coming out. That song was a real throwback, so on the way home in Alice’s ridiculous yellow Porsche, I demanded we listen to P!@TD and FOB and even a little MCR.

Man, it was like Throwback Thursday with all these hits from my childhood.

”Alice, I think you broke the human.” Emmett commented, looking at me funnily as I mumbled the incoherent lyrics Patrick Stump was singing.

”It’s called Fall Out Boy. All the cool kids listen to it.” I mock sneered at him.

”Fall Out Boy? What kind of name is that?” He asked. I just agreed at him, mouth agape. 

“Fall Out Boy? Did you just...? Oh my god.”

”See Alice, you broke the human.” I scoffed at him, throwing a cushion at his face. I pulled out my phone from the jacket pocket. I scrolled through my playlists till I found the song I had been singing.

_Am I more than you bargained for yet?_

_I’ve been dying to tell you anything you wanna hear_

_Cuz that’s just who I am this week_

“See? You can just about hear the words he’s singing. It’s cool like that, when you go to a Fall Out Boy concert, no two people are singing the same lyrics.” I explained.

”Sounds okay.” Emmett nodded, looking thoughtful.

”Jesus. No wonder you kids don’t fit in at school. You gotta get down with the kids grandpa, keep up with the times. It’s not the 1950s.” Emmett laughed, scoffing loudly and standing up from his seat on the sofa.

”Who you calling a grandpa, Human?” He was stalking closer to me and I giggled, walking around the sofa to avoid him.

”Is that a white hair I see? Wait, no, it can’t be. Is that a wrinkle on your forehead?” I continued teasing and we continued circling the sofa. I knew he could easily catch me, but it was fun as I ran around the sofa, pretending he couldn’t catch me.

”That’s it. I’m done playing nice.” I squealed loudly as he began chasing me around the room, still at a human pace and I almost fell over Jasper’s long legs.

”Careful.” The blonde warned as I almost fell on top of him.

”Gotcha.” He wrapped his giant arms around me and lifted me off the ground, holding me upside down while tickling my exposed stomach. I was laughing so hard, my face was turning red and my stomach hurt a little.

”Emmett, put the human down.” Jasper scolded, not looking up from the book he was reading on his arm chair. Emmett complied and chucked me onto the sofa and I bounced and hit the floor.

”Shit Sylvia, I’m sorry, are you okay?” I was face down on the fooor, my hair sprawled out everywhere, covering my face. My shoulders were shaking and my face was soaked with tears. He lifted me to a sitting position.

”Jesus, don’t cry Sylvia.” The worry and fear in his eyes was so funny, I couldn’t help the dying seal laughter that escaped me until I was nothing but a wheezing, gasping mess.

”She’s okay Emmett, just laughing.” Jasper explained while I wiped my eyes.

”You silly human, don’t scare me like that.” He grumbled, ruffling my messed up hair even more.

”Oh my god, Sylvia, I just got your hair done!” Alice shrieked, coming into the room. That was true, we had gone to the salon where I got my hair dyed back to its original dark brown almost black colour. I also got it trimmed because it was too long and it now sat in neat waves till just under my breasts.

Well, it was neat.

”Sorry Alice.” She just rolled her eyes, sitting on Jasper’s lap.

”So Grandpa, what kind of music do you listen to then?” I asked the muscly mountain of a man besides me. He stood up and went to a wall by the TV and pulled out a CD and after a moment, music blared around the house.

I recognised the guitar chords.

”His palms are sweaty, knees weak arms are heavy, there’s vomit on his sweater already, Mom’s spaghetti.” Emmett and I both sung the lines together.

”You know this song?” Emmett asked, eyes brightening up.

”Eminem for life bro.” We high fived at that.

”You know, you’re pretty cool. For a human.” I smiled at him.

”You’re pretty cool too. For a dead guy.” He shook his head at me and we continued singing.

Being a Cullen was turning out to be pretty awesom.


	13. Chapter 13

It was on my way to my room that I bumped into the ice queen. I accidentally ran into her on my journey up the never ending staircase and she growled and huffed. And because she was made of ice, both inside and out, my shoulder got a pretty painful bump, and I could already feel the bruise forming.

”Watch where you’re going.” She growled.

”Hey, you’re the one with super fast reflexes, you could have easily avoided me.” I pointed out, rubbing the sore spot. She huffed again, making no move to get out of my way, crossing her arms and engaging in a stare down on the landing of the stairs. I sighed.

“Look Rosalie, I’m sorry about what I did yesterday. I mean, you were being a bitch, but not completely unreasonable. I probably would have reacted the same way if I were in your position. I just hope you don’t hate me and we could get along.”

Wow, I couldn’t the demebe the last time I had ever been so sincere to someone and extended an olive branch.

”And why would I do that?” She raised a brow at me.

”Well, we do live together, we’ll be seeming a lot of each other.” Her face pulled into a menacing sneer and again, I was surprised as to how such an angelic face could twist into something so horrific.

”Don’t you get it? I don’t want you to live here. I will carry on making life for you here unpleasant if it means you finally get the hint and leave.” Her voice lowered and it had an edge of a growl in it. Truly frightening.

I tried not to feel the stabbing of her words on my poor heart.

I really tried.

But I felt the traitorous tears form in my eyes, felt that annoying lump in my throat. I clenched my hands so hard, my long nails digging into the soft flesh of my palm until I felt that burning sensation. The pain in my palms trumped the hurt I was feeling and that was enough to pull me out.

My hands were now sticky and Rosalie glanced down at my hands, confused and dare I say it, worried? I scoffed and shoved past her, doing more damage to myself than her. I all but ran to my room, shut the door and locked it, leaning back on it, my heart pounding wildly in my ears.

_Don’t do this again._

_You promised to start fresh here, remember?_

_No ghosts to follow you and no problems either._

I slid down the door and onto the floor, closing my eyes and holding my ears, trying to block out the voices playing in my head. I kept telling myself not to cry over and over. I didn’t even know why I was crying. Yeah, I mean what the bitch said on the stairs was so fucking low of her, but I’ve had worse. 

Maybe it’s because she reminds me so much of my mother.

Her words on the stairs reminded me of another blonde, this one older and with bitter blue eye instead of gold, one hand holding an empty bottle and another holding a fading cigarette.

_”Don’t you get it? I don’t want you to live here. I don’t want to see your disgusting face, reminding me of that fucking nightmare.”_

Her raspy voice and slurred words were forever etched in my mind, taunting me, teasing me, everywhere I went. 

“Sylvia, are you okay?” A quiet voice asked through the door. Edward.

I realised I was crying and wiped at my face angrily, grimacing as my palms protested. I got up from my pathetic position on the floor, catching my reflection in the mirror opposite. It was a truly horrifying sight. My face was red, my light brown eyes glassy with unshed tears and slightly puffy. But what was worse was the red all over my face as I had wiped my tears away with my bleeding palms.

”I got blood on your jacket, I’m sorry.” My voice was still thick, and I cleared my throat.

”Never mind the jacket Sylvia, are you okay? Let me in and I can look at the cuts.” I had no idea why I complied, but I just did. I opened the door and his eyes widened, looking around my face before settling on my eyes.

“Sylvia...” his voice was quiet and worried. I turned around, not wanting to look him in the eyes and sat on my bed, holding my hands out to him. He immmediately appeared by me, kneeling in front of me on the bed, looking down at my palms.

I could feel his cool breath and when his hand started to move to hold my wrists, the coldness of his hands was welcoming and sent tingles where his bare skin touched mine. He turned my hands this way and that, furrowed his brows.

And suddenly he looked up and for a second, my mind shut up as I looked at his eyes. They were a darker caramel today with flecks of gold around the pupil, which was wide, making his eyes look darker than they actually were. 

I was suddenly aware of how close his face was, especially when he looked up at me like that.

”The cuts are fine, but judging from all the marks on your palms, I don’t think this is the first time you’ve done it.” I yanked my hands out of his and stood up, so done with this topic already.

One minute, he’s giving me these funny looks that make my mind shut up and the next minute, he’s trying to probe into my mind and bringing back memories I’d rather suppress.

”I’m gonna shower now, so close the door on your way out.” I said on my way to the bathroom.

What a shit turn today took.


	14. Chapter 14

I scrubbed myself so hard in the shower, ignoring my sore skin and my painful palms. The fruity soaps and body washes did nothing to soothe my frazzled nerves and my emotional turmoil. I stepped out when my fingers became too wrinkly.

I grabbed a large fluffy towel from the rack and dried myself while looking in the mirror. My mother had every reason to hate me. I looked exactly like my father. My large almond shaped eyes werethe only thing that I had gotten from her. But everything else was my father’s.

My oval shaped face, my straight nose, my dark full eyebrows, my thick lips and my light tan skin and my dark wavy hair, they were nothing like the pin straight flaxen blonde hair of my mother, or her cerulean eyes, or her dainty lips or button nose.

I was a living copy of my father, a constant reminder of the disgusting and despicable things he did. And I’d be stuck with that. Damn, I wished i was like those other people that travelled to the Twilight universe and had something about my appearance changed.

I sighed, and shook my head, stepojng out of the bathroom before I could be consumed in self loathing and pity. New clothes were laid out for me on my bed and I smiled the slightest at Alice’s thoughtfulness and ade a mental note to thank her.

I dressed in the silk camisole and it’s matching shirts, the colour a nice baby pink.

”Damn Alice, you’re spoiling me with all this silk.” I spoke aloud, sure that she heard. I picked up my phone, frowning at its nearly empty battery and rummaged through my bag fir the charger and plugging it in. Instead I pulled out my iPad and my art pad and climbed onto the bed and got comfortable, leaning against the headboard, putting in my wireless earphones.

Music and Art were the only things that could calm me.

And maybe some vodka and a little bit of weed too.

But that was out if the question. Mama and Papa Cullen would certainly disapprove if they knew about my drinking and smoking habit. Well it wasn’t a habit. Not yet anyway. Just something I did once in a while to ease off the edge of life.

Music flowed over me.

I was eager to forget what had transpired earlier, so I opted for some upbeat pop music to get me back on track and do some nice artwork, so I let Justin Beiber’s voice flow through my ears and the beat of Let Me Love You and pour into whatever I was sketching on my sketching pad.

I ended up sketching a close up of a girl’s eyes with city skylines drawn in the reflection in her eyes. One was unrecognisable buildings and in one, I drew the London skyline with a tear escaping that eye.

Jesus, so much for upbeat.

I turned the page and tried to start a new sketch.

My hand hovered over the paper for a second before I sighed and put my pencils and books on the bedside table. I stopped the music, annoyed at the pop song blaring through my earphones and put that away too, unsure of what to do.

There was a knock on my door and it opened toreal little Alice standing by the door, smiling at me sadly.

”Hey, you’ve been locked up here for four hours, I was wondering if you were hungry. Esme’s making something.”

”I’m not hungry.”

”I’m sorry about what Rosalie said to you. We’ve all had a word with her and she won’t bug you again.” Alice states, sitting besides me on the bed.

“You shouldn’t have, she’s your sister.”

”And she’s self conceited and I needs to get her head out of her ass.” I laughed a little at Alice. It was funny hearing little Alice say a nighty word.

”Plus, you’re my sister too.” She added after a moment. I turned to look at her and saw nothing but sincerity and warmth in her eyes, it made my own tear up again. I was overwhelmed with emotion for the smaller girl.

God, I already loved her so much.

I threw my arms around her, squeezing her as hard as I could, trying to tell her with my hug what I couldn’t say with my words. She hugged me back just as fiercely.

”Thank you Alice. So much. You have no idea how much that means to me.” I mumbled into her shoulder, sniffling a little.

”It’s okay Sylvia. I already love you like family.”

”I love you too.” Damn, when was the last time I got a hug this good? Alice was damn good hugger and it made my heart swell up with emotion and my eyes water, for once in a long time because of something other than sadness or grief.

”Should I be worried that I have competition now.” We pulled away and I laughed, seeing Jasper standing in the doorway, watching us.

”Damn right Cowboy, better watch out or I’m going to steal this little lady before you can say another yeehaw.” I replied in my best Texan accent. Alice giggled and Jasper’s smile widened, making him look more his age.

”Well, now, when you put it like that, I’m gonna have ta keep you under lock and key Darlin’.” He spoke to Alice who skipped up to him and pecked him chastely on the lips. Honestly, they were so cute together.

”Come on Sylvia. Esme’s making that gunk you call food. Hurry up and eat it before it stinks up the kitchen. How can you eat that? It’s gross.” I stood up anyways, shaking my head as Alice crinkled her nose.

”Says the one with rabbit fur stuck between her teeth.” I laughed even as she playfully wacked me on my arm.

”I do not! Do I Jasper?” I laughed as she waited for confirmation from her husband, who looked down at her amused.

“No. It’s not rabbit. I think it’s a hare.” I guffawed at Jasper and watched as Alice fake pouted, giggling as Jasper chuckled. We kept up that way until we walked into the kitchen, the friendly teasing and banter, immediately lighting up the dark cloud that hung only moments ago.


	15. Chapter 15

I was absolutely knackered. I spent the rest of the weekend preparing for School life, something I was sure I was done with. Alice went over the Do’s and Don’ts of life as a Cullen.

Some were as basic as don’t tell everyone we’re all a bunch of sparkly fairy vampires and don’t reveal you’re from the future and some were like make sure everything you do is perfect and make sure you get all A’s and above, which were easier said than done.

Okay, they didn’t say that, but Alice stressed the fact that I have to do all my homework and I have to try my best with every lesson. I guess it came part and parcel of being a Cullen.

When I asked about it, Esme explained that because they have to show that they are good enough to miss the sunny days in school otherwise the teachers will insist they go. I said I’d try, but I hadn’t even taken my own education in my past life that seriously, so this was going to be a challenge.

Monday came too quickly. I had hardly slept the night before, lost in my own memories of school from my past life. I took a cold shower and scrubbed a layer of skin off to wake myself up. I was so fucking tired, I wanted to just chuck my hair into a bun and wear an oversized hoodie and something leggings.

”Don’t you dare. I’ve laid out your outfit on your bed.” I cursed the damn pixie on the other side of the door and put on the clothes. A pair of black tights, a black skater skirt and a tight white turtleneck. I slipped them on, along with calf length high heeled boots that made me two inches taller and looked in the mirror.

Damn I looked good. 

“Told you.” Alice smirked, slipping into my room. She sat me down, and grabbed a brush. That was another thing we changed. My hair had been dyed back into its original dark brown  colour. It was a really dark brown and appeared black most times, but in the light, the brown strands were visible.

My hair was long, and Alice got it trimmed for me so it fell to my elbow in a mess of loose curls and waves. We sat in silence as Alice’s soothing fingers worked magic on my scalp and manipulated my hair to fall in neat waves down my back.

”Come on, Esme’s made breakfast.” I let the shorter girl drag me down the stairs and I soon slumped onto my seat, immediately reaching fir the steaming mug of tea.

”School. I thought I was so done with it. I don’t know how you guys do it. I would be brain dead after the third time of playing high school.” I muttered into my cup.

”Do you rember your cover story?” Jasper asked, joining Alice and I in the kitchen. He stood with his tiny mate opposite me, waiting for me to finish munching my food.

”I’m an English fugitive spy hiding from the Russian mafia after my identity was revealed and I’m calling in a favour you guys owe me from back when I helped you on that mission in Vietnam. Right?” Emmett’s loud guffaws could be heard from the living room and Alice giggled, Hell, even Jasper cracked a smile.

”I’m kidding. I’m a cousin of Emmett and Alice and my parents were friends with Carlisle so after their oh so tragic death, I ended up here. Personally, I think my story sounds better, more exciting.” I fake pouted, now done with my food.

”Let's get you to school.” Alice jumped up and down, dragging me to the garage.

”Hey, where is Edward?” Edward and I were pretty close now, considering how much time we spent with each other. He’d popped into my room yesterday and we talked a little, but mostly sat in silence, sharing my earphones and listening to music while I drew. 

I enjoyed his company.

”You asked for me.” I turned around and saw him standing by his car, leaning on it while giving me a sexy smirk. He, much like everyone else, was dressed to the nines in some dark jeans that made his long legs even longer and a tight grey sweater that hugged his muscles. His eyes were a bright yellow today and his hair was its usual mess of copper locks.

He was seriously gorgeous.

Jesus Christ, I sounded like one of those thirsty Twilight fans.

”Well if it ain’t the famous silver Volvo.” I smirked, looking at the shiny cat he leaned on.

”Come on, let’s go.” Edward nodded his head. I only now noticed Alice wasn’t with me. As if sensing my question, Edward answered. ”Alice and the rest of the gang have taken Emmett’s jeep. They’ll meet us there.” I shrugged and walked round the car, to take the passenger seat.

Only it wasn’t.

”Other side.” Edward murmured, amusement in his voice.

”Well nah. I was gonna try the back next.” He chuckled louder at my sarcasm. He opened the door for me and shut it, quickly appearing in the drivers side.

”You are not a morning person are you?” He asked, his eyes dancing with mirth.

”Just shut up and drive.” 

 


	16. Chapter 16

Somehow, Forks Highschool was not at all what I was expecting, yet I everything I was expecting, at the same time. I knew there were gonna be stares and looks and whispers, especially with Edward permentantly glued to my side, but yet, every time I felt someone lok at me, I would look around.

I wasn’t used to this kind of attention.

Edward kept whispering to me to ignore them, you know, typical Cullen style, act all cool and ignore the stares and dramatically and sexily strut off. But I was curious about everyone here and smiled at anyone that met my eyes and even waved at a couple.

I got especially excited when I saw the main characters, like Mike and Jessica and Angela. But Edward and Alice were stopping me from talking to them. Somehow, I had every lesson with either one of them and they were extremely picky about maintaining our disctance.

Because everyone is a bunch of pathetic humans, unworthy of our attention.

Except, I too was a pathetic human.

By lunch time I was positively fuming. I was sick and tired of them chaperoning me and constantly telling me to ignore everyone and stay away. I personally didn’t see the harm in making friends. That was one thing I never understood in the franchise. You can be friendly with people and maintain that little distance.

I sat down at the secluded table my so called sibling sat at, positively fuming.

”Uh oh. Looks like we got trouble.” Jasper muttered. I took the seat next to him and Edward sat on my other side, sliding me a tray with food, which I quickly slid back with a little too much force. He of course, caught it just before it toppled all over his lap.

”Sylvia, you need to eat.” He murmured. I turned my angry gaze from the table to his face.

”And you need to stop telling me what to do.” I hissed. His brows raised and he looked surprised by my sudden anger. 

“Sylvia...” Alice warned, sitting on the other side of Jasper. Emmett and Rosalie sat opposite, the blonde looking away, at the window and the hulk just watching our interaction with his arms wrapped around his wife.

”No Alice! I’m so sick of you and Edward chaperoning me the whole day telling me what to do and how to act. If I wanted that shit, I’d just go home.” I gritted my teeth because people were still looking at me and our table and I didn’t want any attention.

”No offence, but how does sticking to yourself and not socialising, make you blend into the background. Think about it from a logical point of view. You guys all alienate yourselves and this is the tiniest school known to man so that’s bound to stick out like a sore fucking thumb. Everybody is like ‘Hey look, it’s the Cullens, the weirdos who don’t talk to anyone but their family.’” Everyone was silent.

”Socialising with humans is hard though. They ask too many questions and stare a lot. We can’t exactly invite them over and have a sleepover.” Emmett spoke up quietly. I sighed, all anger and irritation drained away.

”Then don’t.” I replied. He looked confused. I sighed, feeling all my previous anger and irritation dissipate.

“Well, you my friends, are in luck. You are looking at the pro in Human Interaction. It’s a serious skill, almost an art, maintaining that careful balance of friendly and polite and cool and distant. You guys just need to watch and learn.” I smirked, scraping my chair back to get up.

”Sylvia, don’t.” Alice begged.

”Relax, I’m not gonna die. Not yet anyways.” No one appreciate s my joke and Edward scowled, looking away from me. I swear I even heard crickets chirp in the background. Before the awkwardness could increase, I got up and all eyes followed me.

I left the cafeteria and went to the girls bathroom, because everyone knows, that’s where you make the best friends. I entered to find two familiar girls already there. A curly haired short girl and a bleached blonde. 

Jessica and Lauren.

I smirked and shook my head to myself, joining them at the mirrors over the sinks. They were fluffing their hair and topping up their lipgloss. I checked up on my own makeup too. I wore some winged eyeliner to enhance the shape of my eyes and some mascara. I also had some dark red matte lipstick, because I would rather be caught dead than wearing lipgloss like Alice originally suggested.

”So, you’re Sylvia Cullen?” The voice was slightly nasally and I turned to see it was Lauren who addressed me. Her eyes were narrowed a little, her ice blue eyes judging me no doubt. Jessica was also looking at me, a little anxious but curious.

”Yeah and you’re Lauren Mallory right? And Jessica Stanley?” Their eyes widened a little. Lauren stood a little taller, nose in the air.

”Yeah, how do you know?” She asked, her tone accusing.

”Its a small school. Plus I could never forget your face.” She furrowed her brow and Jessica looked nervously between us.

”My face?” She repeated. I nodded, my smirk getting bigger.

”You totally remind me of Regina George. I mean she was the bad guy in Mean Girls, but she was totally fierce and I just loved her flawless looks.” Her face blanked for a second, not expecting the curveball I threw at her. Unsurely, she smiled.

”Oh yeah and Jessica, I have you in my Trigonometry class and as soon as I saw your hair I was totally envious. How you can keep your hair so bouncy is beyond me, I like have to straighten my hair everyday.” Jessica smiled brightly, much more open than her friend.

”Oh, thanks. It’s not completely effortless though. Just wait till summer when the humidity comes.” Her voice was as high and as girly as her pink outfit and she was as bouncy as her hair.

”So like, where are your siblings? Aren’t you guys like always together?” Lauren asked, raising a brow. She want as accepting as Jessica was.

”No, I wanna change that. I’ll see them at home anyways and I think they should expand their social circle. I mean, if you want to avoid people, then why are you here?” I explained. They both agreed.

”You’re...different, than from what I was expecting.” Lauren spoke. Her expression was less guarded and more open now and I smiled at her.

_Yeah, woo! I made two girlfriends in the bathrooms._

_Now that’s what I call women empowerment and girl love._

_That’s what I’m talking about._

”Thanks. I have gym after this, who’s with me?” 


	17. Chapter 17

“...But you were amazing, you should totally try out for the team. Maybe we could finally kick LaPush’s ass this season.” I mulled over Lauren’s invitation. I played a lot of basketball back in my old school and basketball was interesting.

”I’ll think about but I’ll let you know soon.” I replied. 

“Kay, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She patted my shoulder and left through the double door. School was finally over and surprisingly, I didn’t have any of my siblings with me after that. I had double period gym with Lauren and Jessica and a free period. It was pretty chill compared to the the suffocating lessons of history and maths and politics I had in the morning.

I left the school building pretty happy with how the rest of my day. If I want wearing heels, I would have skipped over to the car. Alice was smiling at me. Edward seemed to be questioning the meaning of life while kicking some rocks on the ground, almost pouting at his feet and Jasper was looking amused oy at him.

”Whats got you thinkin’ so hard, love?” I asked, reaching my hand up and ruffling his already messed up hair. The strands were silky and I wanted to run my hands through it but I pulled my hand back, deciding against it.

Edward’s eyes had snapped onto mine and was met with burning gold eyes.

”Miss me?” I asked. I had all my morning lessons with him and had to sit next to his broody ass. But I enjoyed his company and kinda missed him. 

”Let's go then.” He muttered, moving to the driver’s side. I moved to passenger side and sat down, turning to face him. I grabbed his ice cold hand on the handstick before he could move the car.

”Are you angry with me?” I asked. His eyes moved from staring at our touching hands to meet my eyes. He sighed, unclenching his jaw, but still frowning. I interrupted him before he could respond.

”Cause I’m sorry about lunch time. I was just kinda pissed. Sorry if my mood swings gave you whiplash.” He sighed again, this time the corner of his lips twitching upwards.

”I’m not mad at you. It’s just something Alice had a vision of kinda put me on edge.” He said, but paused after he was done, as if regretting his words?

”What did she see? What did you see Alice?” I asked, and turned to see the couple sitting at the back. Her eyes darted to Edward and looked between us, back and forth. Jasper looked down at the girl in his arms.

Clearly they weren’t going to tell me.

Maybe it was something they would only tell me when I reached level 50 of being a Cullen. I frowned. I bet I’d have to turn into a vampire to reach that stage of what I am now calling Cullenhood. 

“You saw me join the basketball team? Cause I was actually kinda torn, like do I join the cheerleading squad and become the popular mean girl and like bleach my hair, or do I join the basketball team and be part of the cool kids that only talk about Michael Jordan? Which one do you think is better?” 

Alice’s face turned into a smile, albeit a little bit forced and I literally felt the relief coming from Edward. As Edward drove away, talk turned to sports and the previous tension died away.

I mentally shook my head. I’m not as stupid as I look. I knew they were hiding something from me, something big and they didn’t want to tell me. They thought that they had gotten away from telling me the truth, but if bring it up sooner or later. I’d just let them continue thinking they could hide things from me.

We arrived home and I had stayed mostly silent during the ride, just listening to Alice’s chatter and Jasper's murmurs and Edward's chuckles. I got out of the car before Edward could open my door and greeted Esme at the door with a kiss on the cheek before locking myself in my room.

I pulled out my phone and earbuds, letting music wash over me as I scrolled the internet, ignoring everything around me. Unfortunately, I was not allowed to keep my phone with me at school because of the risk of it being discovered.

So I buried myself with catching up with the modern world with what happened in the last eight hours, from more Kim K butt selfies to horrible wars raging on across the world.

But eventually, my thoughts got the best of me.

I tried not to feel hurt or slightly let down because Edward and Alice were keeping something from me. I mean, I knew all their secrets and all about their lives, I didn’t need to k ow anymore about them, considering they hardly knew me.

But it was about me, it is my future and after all the shit I’ve been through, id like a heads up if there was anything big coming up so I could ready myself. I mean, if something horrible was going to happen, they would tell me right?

But then again, in the books and movies, the Cullen’s, especially Alice and Edward were always making decisions for Bella. I mean Bella should stand up for herself, but what if she did and that didn’t stop them?

_What if they turned out to be controlling psychos?_

_But they don’t look like psychos._

_Don’t all psychos ampnd murderers look normal? What? Are they gonna have giant stickers on their foreheads? Don’t you remember that documentary you watched, that psychos are actually the most charming people, hence why people actually fall into their traps._

I made a frustrated sound at the battle I was having in my head.

The Cullens weren’t psychos, if they wanted to kill me, I’d be dead already and I’m probably just paranoid.

Right?


	18. Chapter 18

A knock on the door disturbed my peace and I looked up towards the door. Alice entered, tray in hand, looking at me funny. She settled the tray of delicious food on the bedside table and crossed her arms, looking at me expectantly. I sighed, yanking out my earbuds and pausing Backstreet Boys’ romantic crooning to listen to what she had to say.

”Well?” She questioned, tapping her fingers on her arm.

”Well what? Unfortunately, I’m not Edward and I cannot read minds.” I stated bitterly, remembering her and her secret vision.

”Are you gonna stay like that all night?” She asked, pointing a manicured finger at my state. I currently had all the bed blankets wrapped around myself like a giant cocoon. I was listening to songs on my iPad and finishing off a couple sketches, all the while, devouring packs of M&Ms and cookies which I had nicked from the pantry.

“Yes. Now leave me alone. I believe Adele is coming on after this song.” I sniffed, plugging in my earbuds and letting Adele’s melancholy wash over me, sinking me further into my little pit of self pity.

”You need to eat. Real food. You haven’t eaten anything good all day.” I just about heard her and once she realised I was ignoring her, she left, and I sighed. Carefully unfolding my cocoon, I picked up the tray. Some tomato and chicken soup and garlic bread. 

I was hungrier than I thought because I had devoured it at breakneck speed, to the point where I had gotten the hiccups. So I waddled downstairs, carrying my tray and my empty bottle to fill to rid myself of the stupid hiccups.

Esme greeted me in the kitchen with a smile.

”You finished pretty quick. I take it you enjoyed it.” I nodded, letting her take my dishes. I stood there awkwardly as she washed them.

”I’m sorry Esme. I didn’t mean to spend all day up there and I certainly didn’t mean to be rude.” You know those parents that are so nice to their kids that the kids end up being spoiled dicks. Well, Esme was so nice that if you did something even slightly rude, your immediate reaction was to apologise. 

“It’s okay sweetie. I understand. How was your first day?” Well that was a new question. I followed her to the living room where Emmett was watching a game and Jasper was reading.

”Um...it was okay.” She patted the seat next to her on the loveseat and I took it.

”Edward told me you made some friends.” Her smile was encouraging.

”Well yeah. I met these two girls Jessica and Lauren in the bathrooms. They are not at all what they seem. I mean, Jessica has a loud mouth and Lauren is quite petty, but honestly, aren’t we all? They’re just stereotypes and misjudged. Oh and I was invited to join the cheerleading team. I was actually thinking about it. But I’ve decided to join the basketball team. I mean, the only other option is football, sorry, soccer, and I have no control of my feet.” I rambled.

Esme’s smile widened. It wasn’t those vacant ones, like when people weren’t listening.

”You play ball kid?” Emmett asked.

”Yeah man, I’m a slam dunkin’ champion. I get a chick every time I shoot a hoop.” Emmett laughed loudly, guffawing, game abandoned.

”Hey, that reminds me, I’ve been meaning to update my playlist. Well actually, I need to do the opposite of updating. I’m a 2000s teenager, I need to get into what’s cool you know? What’s hip nowadays? Is that what people say?” I asked Emmett.

”Punk music is popular. The ones with a lot of guitar and drums.” Jasper commented.

”Wait, let me google some.” A minute minutes later, I was scrolling through a playlist.

_Lifestyles of the rich and the famous_

_Theyre always complaining_

_Always complaining_

_If money is such a problem_

_Well, they’ve got mansions._

_Think we should rob them_

”Hey, I know this!” I said, standing up and playing the air guitar. Emmett laughed again, but joined me, throwing his head back and forth, trying to whip his hair like I was. The song ended and I was feeling flushed but happy, my previous sour mood gone.

”Man, we should listen to more of these.” And that’s how I spent the rest of my evening. Just me and Emmett head banging and singing along with Jasper and Esme’s chuckling and laughing at us.

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to all the fans of my story and especially Vykki_Q for continuous support and positive feedback. I know I may not respond to all your comments, but I do really appreciate them.

_It was raining, that’s the first thing I noticed. The sunny summer weather had swapped for the infamous rainy English weather. But everyone still stood there, all crowding around something which I couldn’t quite see._

_Everyone was dressed in suits and dresses, all in black._

_I was confused._

_I pushed through the crowds, squeezing through gaps to the front. I saw a familiar head of blonde hair and I smiled, walking over to her. My steps faultered as I heard her sob. She had a rose in her hand and walked towards a ditch in the ground and threw it._

_“Goodbye Sylvia.” She choked out. I gasped, realisation dawning on me. I looked around the crowd, seeing familiar faces. Maggie and the work crew, Zach and the basketball team, Cole from dance lessons. They were all here._

_This was my funeral._

_One by one, they all moved up, throwing roses and letters into the ditch, whispering goodbyes to me and all I could do was stare in horror. I couldn’t move. The rain intensified, a physical representation of all the sadness around me._

_”Sylvia would have appreciated you all coming her. She had a rough life, but she went through it all with a smile on her face,” Cass began. Adrian was once again besides her, comforting her and urging her to continue._

_“The support and love shown is unbelievable. She may be gone, but she is alive in our memories. We can’t change our past, but we can certainly change our future. That’s one thing Sylvia always told me and I want her words to live through in all our decisions.” Her voice wobbled with unshed tears._

_I cried and cried and cried._

_Eventually, the ceremony was over and one by one, everyone left, until Cass stood over the ditch with Adrian dutifully glued to her side._

_It was so bittersweet. I meant so much to so many people, none of whom were my blood. But I wasn’t there to tell them how much I appreciated them too. I guess you only realise who your true family are when you die._

_”Come on Cass, you’ll get ill.” Adrian spoke up after a while._

_”Okay. Let’s go home.” She whispered. “I’ll miss you Syl.” Her quiet goodbye broke my shattered heart into a million more pieces. I called out after her, but just like last time, she left without hearing me._

I startled awake and saw worried golden eyes peering down at me. I sat up, confused, wiping my damp face. Realisation dawned on me. I had another dream of my previous life. I let out a shaky breath, brushing my hair from my head where it was sticking with sweat.

”Sylvia...” The way Esme said my name reminded me of Cass and how sad and broken she sounded. Now that we were apart did I realised how much time I spent with her and how much I needed her. We were al it’s always attached at the hip.

And I missed her so much.

”I’m okay Esme, just a dream.” I plastered a smile on my face, pushing her concern away. Right now, I just wanted to be alone.

”I’m always here if you need me.” She must have knew what I wanted because she left me. I sighed, laying back down and glancing at my phone,realising it was almost five in the morning. Might as well get up.

I took a long scalding shower, no music, no dancing, no karaoke. Just me and my thoughts while I scrubbed off a layer of skin and paractically burnt myself with the hot water. I took my time brushing my hair, leaving it in its natural loose curls. I chose my own outfit this time, ignoring the clothes Alice had layer on my bed while I showered.

A pair of high waisted black skinny jeans, a maroon long sleeved crop top and a black leather jacket on top. I put on some Adidas trainers and grabbed my own rucksack, rather than the annoying satchel Alice had made me wear yesterday. I even put in my nose hoop ring and a small belly button stud before heading downstairs.

It was silent around the house and it remained so, the only sounds the clicking and scraping of my fork as I ate. No one was around, not even Esme in the kitchen like usual, greeting me. I resorted to my phone with a slight sigh.

It was usually in moments like these Cass would plot something crazy to do.

”Hey kiddo. Sleep well? Guess where I was!” The loud and excited voice could only belong to one person.

”Where were you Emmett?” I asked, turning around on my barstool to face him. I shrieked at his appearance. He was an absolute mess. His shirt was torn to tatters, his mouth and shirt smeared with blood and his shoes were missing. His eyes though were a bright and glowing topaz. He laughed at my reaction.

”Let me guess, you got into a fight with some irritable grizzlies trying to hibernate?” His smirk turned into a shocked expression and it was my turn to laugh.

”How did you know?” He asked.

”I know grizzlies are your favourite, Emmy Bear.” I giggled. He smiled and opened his arms and walks towards me, asking for a hug, but I shrieked and jumped off the stool to get away from him.

”Get away Emmett, you stink!” He didn’t give up, just walking around the kitchen island and circling it like I was to get away from him.

”Come on, don’t hurt my feelings like that.” He fake pouted.

”Hurry up Emmett or we’ll be late for school.” Edward scolded, appearing at the doorway. He was n a slight better state, his shirt was slightly ripped but there wasn’t blood on him. His hair was extremely messed up and his eyes too were bright.

”You’re no fun Edddie.” Emmett pouted But did as he was told. I sighed, my good mood leaving with Emmett.

Another day of school.

Fuck me.

 


	20. Chapter 20

I had spent most of my days in school ignoring the Cullens, with the exception of Emmett and Jasper. Rosalie hadn’t uttered a word to me since that day on the stairs, Alice was still being secretive and giving me strange glances when she thought I wasn’t looking, and then there was Edward.

I didn’t need to ignore him, he was doing that all on his own.

In the lessons we shared with each other, our conversations were clipped and short, all about the work. At lunch, he took the seat furthest away from me and looked down down at his tray until it was time for lessons.

It hurt and it was extremely annoying.

I mean, I didn’t do anything to him. 

I was kinda over the initial anger at the fact that both he and Alice, whom I had considered close friends at this point, were hiding something big from me, something that had everything to do with me.

I was willing to put that aside and forget about if for the time being because I kinda missed them both, but every time I tried to start a conversation, he would walk away or dismiss me with a lame excuse. Alice knew why he was being more of an ass lately but like last time, she kept her mouth shut, her and Edward would have one of those hushed and secretive conversations and he’s always storm off.

So I kept my mouth shut too.

I’d been with them for only a week and yet here I was, already somehow offending most of the Cullens and making them hayte me.

I grimaced at the direction my thoughts took.

_”Once everyone finds out, they’ll see you for the disgusting waste of space you are, and they’ll hate you. Just like I do.” A familiar voice rasped in my head._

I shuddered, pushing the thoughts away.

The silence all around me had been doing that to me lately. It was silent to and from school (well it was silent to me anyways, I really wasn’t sure if they were all having those weird silent conversations) and it was silent at home. Esme was the only one that truly talked to me, but even then, my time with her was limited too.

Adding onto the whole depressing atmosphere, flashes of my funeral and other suppressed memories would haunt me in my dreams. The whole week was one shitty day after another.

”Alright, what’s wrong?” Jasper sighed, setting his book down. I gave him a confused look. It was free period for us both so we sat in the library, doing homework.

”You keep tappin’ your fingers, bouncin’ your leg. I don’t think I can take much more.” His Southern drawl seeped into his words as he gave me a pointed look. I looked away, stopping my fingers which I had been unconsciously tapping.

My cravings were sky high right now. I was used to having a blunt it maybe a couple of drink when days got as unbearable and depressing as they had been this week. I grimaced. I guess I was on the brink of addiction if I couldn’t go more than a whole week clean.

I clenched my teeth and shook my head. “It’s nothing, I’m fine.” I didn’t need to look up to know he didn’t believe me.

”Clearly it’s not nothing. You should talk to someone.” I looked up at him with a frown.

”No. I am fine. If you really must know, I just need a blunt okay. I’ve gone almost two weeks without smoking and it’s really getting to me.” He raised a brow, but his face remained neutral.

”You smoke.” It wasn’t a question, but I answered anyway.

”Just a little weed to keep me calm.” It wasn’t like I smoked daily. Plus, there was a lot of research that proves weed is not nearly as dangerous as normal cigarettes can be. And it was not as toxic as crack and other stuff which some of my friends were into. So technically, I was healthier and happier.

”Just a little can be enough to get you arrested.” I rolled my eyes at him.

”I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Let’s just go home.” I stood up and grabbed my bag just as the bell rang.

 


	21. Chapter 21

The conversation with Jasper had me feeling even more anxious. It was only after Jasper mentioned it did I notice the little things I kept doing, like my fingers tapping, my knees bouncing, running my hands through my hair, biting my nails, shuffling in my seat, clicking my pen. And I had wondered if any of the other Cullens noticed.

I was also worried Jasper was going to say something to his family.

_Then they will definitely kick you out, when they realise how many problems you carry around._

I shook my head at my thoughts. 

_If he had said anything then someone would have talked to me by now, right? Right?_

I groaned, rubbing my face.

We had all come back from school about an hour ago and I was holed up in my room, our earlier conversation repeating in my head. _I can’t even go a whole week without a blunt. Does that make me an addict? Am I going to rehab?_

My anxiety seemed to worsen at my thoughts, almost making me sick. I closed my eyes, resting my head in my hands and leaning forward to put my elbows on my knees.

“Sylvia, you okay in there?” If I had the energy, I would have come up with some sassy smart ass remark, but I barely let out a grunt. I heard the door open and I looked up, the sudden movement making me dizzy and not at all helping my queasy stomach.

”Jesus, Sylvia, what happened?” Edward asked, crouching before me as I sat at the desk. Despite my uneasy stomach and dizzy head, I scoffed.

”Now you wanna know.” I muttered. He still heard and his concerned expression turned shocked and slightly hurt, before switching back to its original expression.

”Syl I didn’t-Nevermind, I think you have a fever.” He raised a pale hand and pressed the back of it to my forehead and winced. His hands was extremely cold today. Or maybe it was just me.

”Come on, I’ll tell Carlisle. In the meantime I’ll take you to his study.” He stood up, pulling on my arm to help me stand up. My legs shook beneath me so Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulder and waist to support me. Had I not been fighting emptying the contents of my stomach right there, then I’m sure I would have enjoyed his arms around me a little more.

Everything was slowly sifting in and out of focus and all the sounds around me 

 

”Come on, I’ll tell Carlisle. In the meantime I’ll take you to his study.” He stood up, pulling on my arm to help me stand up. My legs shook beneath me so Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulder and waist to support me. Had I not been fighting off the urge to empty out the contents of my stomach, I would have definetky appreciated the feeling of hisarms around me.

As soon as we took the first few steps out of my rooms, my vision blurred and my knees gave way and I welcomed the darkness.


	22. Chapter 22

The first thing I registered was the thudding in my head. At first it was a dull, distant ache, but then it seemed to grow, thumping loudly with each beat of my heart and waking me from the sweet slumber I was in. 

“Shit Cass, what did I take last night?” I mumbled, rubbing my face.

”The real question is what didn’t you take?” I startled at the voice, sitting up and blinking several times to see Dr Cullen standing at the foot of the bed. Looking around, I realised I was in an unfamiliar room, surrounded by medical equipment.

”I’m having some pretty strong deja vu right now.” I sighed, remembering exactly where I was and what led me to be laying on this hospital bed.

”You remember what happened?” He asked, sitting at the foot of the bed. I didn’t answer, just nodded and picked at the thread on the blanket. “Do you know why you passed out?” He asked. I wasn’t sure, but I had a pretty good idea.

”You're suffering withdrawal symptoms. Jasper told me about your little conversation.” I looked up, ready to see the disappointment and disgust in his eyes, but i saw nothing but compassion and concern swirling in his golden irises. I swallowed down the lump in my throat, fighting off the urge to cry.

”Sylvia, why didn’t you tell somebody? If something had happened to you, then none of us would have known and we wouldn’t be able to help you.” He gently reprimanded me. I looked down at my hands, fiddling with the blanket. He sighed.

”How long have you been using cannabis?” He asked.

”It’ll be a year next month.” God, I bet everyone else in the house could hear this. I’ve never felt so embarrassed in my life. Maybe they were all second guessing their decision to let me stay.

”How often do you smoke?” He asked.

”Once, maybe twice a week.” I mumbled, but he still heard.

”Do you know how much you’d use?” He asked again. There was still no hint of anger or disgust in his voice and it made me vaguely wonder if he’d be angry when he found out my full story.

”Well at first I’d only take one hit, just to help me relax or inspire me to do my artwork. But then that wasn’t enough so I took a couple more. I use two blunts at a time now.” Hearing myself speak about it slid, made me realise I had an actual problem.

I rubbed my face.

But on the bright side, at least I wasn’t a crack head ir a heroin addict. Cannabis was not as toxic and I hoped withdrawal symptoms would be much easier and lighter, for my sake. He stood up and I suddenly began panicking.

Was he leaving me? Was he realising what a mess I was and kicking me out?

”I swear I didn’t mean for it to get out of hand. I only did it because it Elle’s me with my work and stuff. I won’t do it again, promise.” The panic in my voice was evident. His face looked even more worried and concerned as he sat back down and took my hand.

”I know Sylvia, that’s why we are all going to help you recover.” He grabbed my hand in both of his and squeezed reasssuringly. But my tears were now free falling and I was lost in a memory. I vaguely registered Esme entering.

_”Why do you do this?” A younger me asked quietly. The figure on the worn down sofa was still. The only signs of life were the small up and down movement of her chest._

_Her head turned slowly to me, pale dazed blue eyes glancing at me. Her skin was pale, her eyes sunken and her hair dull. She was not the pretty woman she once was._

_”Because I can’t stand to look at you. I hate you.” Her raspy voice was slow and slurred. I hesitantly shuffled over to her, ignoring the stench around her._

_”But I love you and I won’t ever hurt you.” I was crying, tears falling down my face. I leaned down and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t push me away this time, just laying there, too high to care._

_”Please, I love you. Don't hate me Mama, I love you.” I sobbed into her unconscious body. “Please, don’t hate me.”_

I hadn’t realised Esme was hugging me and I clung to her desperately, sobbing uncontrollably. 

“Please don’t hate me, I love you Mama.” I was hiccuping into Esme’s blouse, lost in another sad memory.

Jesus fuck, who knew not smoking would lead to an emotional breakdown.

 


	23. Chapter 23

I cried and sobbed in Esme’s arms, wishing it was my real mother who was holding me, consoling me, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I cried until I was left hiccuping, my voice hoarse and eyes sore.

Esme loosened her grip on me and I sat back a little, taking the tissue handed to me by Carlisle to wipe my face and nose.

”Sweetie, what happened?” Esme asked, her eyes a warm butterscotch with her voice to match.

”You’re not getting rid of me are you?” My voice was barely above a whisper but they heard.

”We would never do that. Sylvia, you’re a part of this family, just like everyone else.” Carlisle assured.

”No one hates you, in fact, we all love you.” Esme continued, smoothing back the hairs that stuck to my face. I looked between the couple, both whom were showing me nothing but kindness, love and patience. They were the ultimate parent duo and I was one lucky bitch to have them.

I sighed. I guess they deserved an explanation.

”I owe you all an explanation I guess.” I cleared my throat, pushing away the unshed tears.

”You don’t have to tell us anything you’re uncomfortable.” Esme assured me, rubbing my back up and down soothingly. Carlisle took a seat on the other side of me, clutching my hand, his cool thumb rubbing over my sore knuckles where I had bitten before.

”No, but I want to.” They didn’t argue with that, just looking at me patiently.

”Well, um, I was an accident. My mum was only recently eighteen, moving from Amsterdam to London, to build a life of her own as a journalist. But after a horrible incident, she realised she was pregnant with me. She wanted an abortion, but had no money at the time. She asked her mother, my grandma, for the money, but my grandma is all pro life so she refused. 

She couldn’t find a job or a decent place to stay, but refused help from her mother. With my arrival, bills kept piling up and without any money coming in, I guess life got unbearable for her, so she resorted to alcohol and all kinds of drugs.

She was never violent or anything, but she’d remind me everyday how I ruined her life and how she couldn’t stand me and hated me. I guess that’s why I freaked out earlier, I thought you would all hate me like she did.

When I was about eleven, my grandma finally showed up and took me back to Holland with her. One summer, when I turned fifteen, I visited my mum and I guess she was doing better.”

That was probably the longest speech I’ve ever made in my life, and it was definitely the hardest one too. But I was way past the tears now.

”Sweetie, you may have been a surprise, but it was not your fault. Your mother had no right to hate you for something she did.” I saw a flash of anger in Esmeks eyes and I sighed, shaking my head.

”That’s it. She didn’t do anything. She was raped and I was the product of that.” I could tell that surprised both of them from the silence that fell over us.

”I don’t blame her for hating me, I never did.”


	24. Chapter 24

A slight knock on the door startled me. It was late afternoon the next day and I had spent the day alternating between following Esme around the house and laying in the bed, scrolling through my phone. The house was quiet, since everyone was at school and Carlisle was at work.

”Come in.” I murmured, knowing I’d been heard. The person on the other end hesitated and slowly turned the door handle. The door opened a little and I saw Rosalie step in, looking around unsure. I was back in my room and her eyes caught my sketch pad which was laying open on my bedside.

“Hey Rosalie, what can I do for you?” I asked, sitting up straight on my bed and leaning on the headboard. She closed the door behind her and stood awkwardly over the foot of my bed.

”I wanted to ask you something personal.” Her voice was quiet, hardly above a whisper.

”Yeah, go ahead, ask away.” I furrowed my brow wondering what she could ask me. She didn’t answer right away, instead stalling by straightening the bed covers slightly and hesitantly taking a seat at the edge.

”Did you ever meet your father?” She asked, again in that quiet voice. I sighed. Of course we were going down that road again. But I guess it was just natural to ask, considering all the blank holes I left yesterday.

”Yeah, I did. It took a couple months of detective work, you’d be surprised at the amount of Aaron Williams in London, but eventually I tracked him down to one of the many pubs on Camden Street.” She looked up at me, her eyes a darker caramel today. She was gorgeous, absolutely, but the look in her eyes were unmistakable.

”What did you do?”

”Well, it was a Sunday evening, a football match was going on and the place was bursting. He was surrounded by a bunch of massive guys who looked like they could snap me in two, so I left it for another day. It was about a week a later I approached him. The look on his face.” I shook my head to myself, chuckling darkly.

”So you just told him like that?” Rosalie frowned.

”Didn't need to. He already knew who I was. I look exactly like him, look.” I thrusted my phone towards her manicured hands, opening up to a picture of a Polaroid I had stolen from him. She looked at him, her eyes darkening into something frightening.

I leaned towards her, swiping the screen, changing it to a picture of my mum. It was another Polaroid, this one of her when she was young and in her graduation cap. Rosalie’s eyes softened, smiling sadly.

”She was pretty.” I nodded not responding. I leaned over towards her, swiping again to another picture of my mother, this one more recent. My grandmother had forced us to stand together in the picture, for once to pretend like nothing was wrong. Her eyes were sunken, her lips shrivelled and twisted into a grimace, her skin was pale and her hair lifeless.

Rosalie’s eyes saddened further.

She handed me my phone, looking up, her eyes glistening with tears she wouldn’t be able to shed.

”I’m sorry for the way I treated you. I didn’t know you’d been through something so terrible.” Her voice was thick.

”I haven’t Rosalie, I’m fine, and I hold nothing against you. I’m sorry I freaked out that day on you, you just kinda reminded me of Mum.” I apologised. She nodded stiffly, trying to compose herself.

”So you know about us, but how much do you know?” I understood where she was going.

”Enough.” I answered. She nodded again stiffly. She cuddled with her fingers. I sighed, crawling across the bed towards her and wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug. She was stiff but slowly patted my back hesitantly.

”S’Okay Rosie Posie, I forgive you, we all do, it’s just time you forgave yourself.” I pulled back and she nodded, the corner if her lips upturning into a small smile. A small silence fell over us, both of reassuring the other with our eyes.

”Rosie Posie?” She asked after a while, her eyes and voice lighter. I chuckled and nodded and she soon joined in with my chuckling.

I was finally seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. 


End file.
